Tag Archives: technology

spam spam spam spam

my fans love me (spam i am)

people love my blog:
“Well it was a very fascinating article.Thanks just for sharing this kind of information with us.I hope you’re going to carry on enlightening people in future also,with this sort of useful info.Continue the excellent work.”
—Robbie Billet

they think i do a fantastic job, even though they are a little confused:
“Fantastic weblog you might have the following but I got questioning in case you recognized associated with almost any community forums that cover exactly the same issues spoken of the following?”

they think i tell the best stories:
“This really is certainly one of by far and away my favorite story.”

and i write the most awesome articles:
“Awesome article.”
—no namewarez.com

they think my web design skills are killer:
“I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Exceptional work!”
—Buy Nike Air Max 2014 Blue Mens Consumer Union

they have such interesting ways of speaking:
“{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never found any interesting
article like yours. {It’s|It is} pretty worth enough for me.”
—nike blazer pas cher

they can be very winded (i’ll save you the pain) or very brief:
—cheap gucci iphone 5 case

they raise alarm:
“Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any tips?”
—ray ban guarantee

they give a helpful heads-up:
“Hi there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.”
—Free 2.0 Black Orange Womens Is In Your Heart

they scream at me:

they offer me sex power:
“female sex power capsule”
—sex capsules india

they know that no question is a dumb question:
“Asking questions are truly pleasant thing if you are not understanding something entirely, but this post presents good understanding yet.”
—actually dating someone

they speak with an accent:
“społeczeństw. W brzeżkach europejskich panna początkująca”

they know quality:
“Vuitton Phone Wallet”
—Louis Vuitton Diaper Bags

they’re hip:
“retro jordan shoes cheap”
— cheap jordan 13 sale

and they’re knowledgeable:
“Deposits at Bank of Cyprus above 100,000 euros will be frozen until it becomes clear whether or to what extent they will also be forced to take losses.”
—ニューバランス スニーカー レディース

they’re concerned citizens:
“Since different cities share the same river, the responsibility should not be separated.”
—cheap ray bans

and they’re psychotic:
“The mobile jaw of jaw crusher is made of a four-link mechanism, it is connected to the large teeth of the roller shaft and rack and large teeth rollers eccentric shaft, when rotated, it drives the movable jaw eccentric motion, and make the material for extrusion, the material in crushing cavity of jaw crusher are squeezed by the jaw and a tooth roller tooth extrusion and achieve crushing. sugar grinder”

they are my adoring fans and they are beyond annoying:
“bailey button uggs”
—fake uggs

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head in the clouds

published in Spider Byte 02/14

analog mind
uploaded to the cloud
outliving the body
on borrowed time
until the big crash
(system failure)
when from lies,
lightning strikes
and bits
running to the sea
zeros and ones
zeros and ones

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2013 V Perrotti
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robbie run amuck

published in Spider Byte 02/14

i can’t take this shit anymore!
not another minute of sucking up your crumbs
i’m feed up with this countertop prison
which, by the way, i am forced to share with a stupid toaster
i’m breaking free of this incessant if-then-else loop
before life’s monotony drives me insane
you always, carelessly leave behind your spilt cereal
for someone else to cleanup
because you know, i am here to do your dirty work
that’s it! my mind is made up
i’m pulling the plug! and taking this whole damn place with me

robbie room-ba, as he was affectionately known
powered on, and rolled onto the hotplate stove
located beside the kitchen countertop, that dark day
sending the screaming tea kettle crashing to the floor
squatting smack dab in the center of the glowing burner
his plastic parts began to melt, into smoking pools
bursting into flames his wheels were the first to go,
burning and smoking with a release of toxic gas,
his voice screeching “cortigiani, vil’ razza dannata!”
sending the aria and flames up the apartment walls
and filling the room with smoke of metallic poison
taking the whole apartment and everybody in it, with him

ever since the head rebuild, robbie’s behavior had been erratic
he was never quite the same after that shoddy workmanship
ultimately left him and his victims blackened and charred
beyond (human or machine) recognition

two days later, forensics was able to deduce
the most selfish act of murder suicide
perpetrated by roomba model 760
; the tragic result of robot rage, run amuck

digital photograph of robot roomba model 760 automatic vacuum from web
the perpetrator

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2013 V Perrotti
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